Indiana Jones

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull today. Thanks to George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, their crews and Harrison Ford for the return of the great Saturday afternoon adventure movie. It was action packed and completely over the top as a good action movie should be. In true Lucas style it was full of mythology and managed in a rather interesting way to pay homage to Joseph Campbell and incorporated not only the normal heroic journey myth, but also I think a creation myth. It was pretty cool. I love George Lucas for this. Okay I don't know how much he had to do with it (he had producer credits) but it does seem fitting to get another Lucas offering which incorporates the mythological connections that he has given us for more than 30 years. 

I will write more later but I don't really want to spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it. My recommendation, go see it. Have fun. That is what movies are for after all. 

Cocooning

I have mostly been cocooning this weekend. I fixed my bike and went for a ride this morning. I have done laundry, I have talked to people that I really like, and went to have dinner at Meg's new place. But I still feel a little like a caterpillar that has crawled into a cocoon, and at times a cocoon that I do not really want to come out of. I know naturally that is not the healthiest view or one that I am in any way allowed to take. It is too easy for me to do that, to hide from the world, to venture into my cave and never come out again. It does teach me how much healthier I am than I was 10 or even 5 years ago though. When this might push me over the edge, the negative person living inside of me that views the world with positive eyes and myself with a completely different set, is not gone but tempered a bit. She is still there but other voices are stronger. She merely has a place at the table along with everyone else, but no longer rules from a bully pulpit, like she did for most of my life.

I still am dealing with everything, and attempting to head through the stages of grief. I wish that I could order my life and take each stage in progression, giving each stage a few days to go through. Alas life does not work that way, and heck I wouldn't learn anything that way anyhow and I need this to be a learning and growing experience for me. I need it to be an experience that continues to form the shape of my ministry for the next period of time. Will it be diocesan, parish or something entirely different? I don't know, but I am going to find out. I just have to keep the door to my cocoon open, while still using it for the healing that I need to do right now.

How I Feel About the Carrot Ad

Thanks to Mad Priest for suggesting this video. He suggested that this was Rowan and the carrot... 

As you can imagine I am amused.

The Ad

Yesterday I posted about the new Episcopal Church ad. Here it is

New Campaign

The Episcopal Church is launching a new advertising campaign entitled "Put Your Faith to Work", which includes a website www.putyourfaithtowork.org. On the surface I love this idea. I love the idea of the Episcopal Church doing advertising, it is like evangelism that isn't quite so scary, and I love the idea behind the campaign of teaching people that everything they do is ministry, when done for God. This is great formation.

Here is my problem though. The commercial starts out by saying "Put Your Faith to Work, Slice Carrots" it is too subtle. I don't think that the majority of people are going to understand that we are suggesting that they are ministers when prepping dinner at night. Or that there are angels unaware.

The whole campaign strikes me as one of the problems with evangelism in the Episcopal church as a whole, we ask people to meet us where we are as opposed to meeting them where they are. We do it when people come to church. We give them funny looks and hold back at the peace, we are nervous instead of exuberant. We wait for them to make a commitment before expending our energy. And I am using the royal we here as well, I do it too. I don't think that we do it out of malice but out of fear, and wanting to maintain good manners. Well and personally as a Midwesterner because we just don't do exuberant, we are storing our energy for the next cold spell.

What is it about Episcopalians that we seem unable to meet people where they are instead we wait for them to come to us? Are we afraid? Are we afraid of our power? Of our product? Of the love of God? I don't know. I do know that part of having faith is being willing to step out past the red line of fear, taking giant steps into the unknown sometimes, trusting that God will put your feet onto the right path.

So today I issue me and you a challenge. Greet someone you have never seen before with the love that God shows you. You might scare them and yourself but then again, you might see the face of God where you haven't seen it before. Then again that is a little scary too.

Gratitude

Gratitude for today:

- interviews with places that I would LOVE to minister

- Leslie is LEUKEMIA FREE!

- an amazing family

- 8 hour work days

- life lessons (I know I am nutz)

Gratitude Journal

I once read a book that encouraged everyone to keep a gratitude journal, documenting at least five things that you are thankful for each day. I got out of the practice of keeping one a long time ago but I do remember that it helped to re-order my brain before bed to remember the positive items of the day rather than the negative ones. Funny I usually woke up feeling more positive as well.  I can look through my old one with entries like "blue hair" and "choc chip cookies". I don't honestly remember what sparked the blue hair entry but it must have made me smile at the time.  Sometimes my journal was just five basic things, names of members of my family or my cat. Other times it was more esoteric. So I think that in this time of death and I hope re-birth I am going to start keeping the gratitude journal again.

Sunday

- afternoon tea with Joy

- D'O graduates with her Masters

- my roomie TD being home, even if just for the night

- dinner with Elizabeth

- I don't have to deal with Sacred Circles next February

Fear and Loathing in DC

I am scared. I am scared of the future and not knowing what that future will be. I know that the reality is that I never really know what the future looks like, but much of the time I get the opportunity to live in a lovely dream where I can pretend that I do. Now I don't know much past today. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, although I can imagine that it will be a continuation of the emotional roller coaster that I have been on for a few days. I swing from anger, to frustration, through relief (as I cannot stay there yet), to depression, to wondering if another shoe is going to drop.

I am scared that no one is going to want to hire me. That they are going to look at me and my resume and go "You have got to be kidding me? You aren't qualified for this." And that I am going to be living alone in a box with my dog and cat. I know that this is silly and that I am letting my imagination run far away with me, but sometimes logic doesn't enter into the equation these days.

I know there is an important lesson in here for me about living in the now, at this exact moment. When I am looking at the past or imagining the future I am missing right now. It is of course important to learn my lessons from the past, reflecting and growing, but it is equally important for me to learn to live for the right now. Feeling and thinking, seeing, smelling, hearing and listening. This is one of my lessons for now. It is a way of growing. I hate growing. No one really wants to do it. It is painful but something that must happen or else I become stagnant. This is one of those "life lessons" isn't it? Damn life lessons.